Hey folks! Long time no see!
As you may or may not remember, I am a 43-year-old in school. I’m studying towards a graphic design certificate at the Santa Fe Community College. This semester involves an advanced Photoshop class. For the midterm project we were given the task of designing an advanced college, or advanced composite by way of choosing one of three prompts :
1. Describe the inside of your loneliness.
2. How do you get to your grandmother's house?
3. Describe the conditions under which you burn.
I chose number one as I had a lot to say on the topic of loneliness. From the start, I felt that it would be more than one piece. For a while, I thought it would mean a polyptych but it naturally became a triptych. I felt that the view into someone’s loneliness was circular. So I had a round hole document the different sensations. All source material had been prepped prior to assembly to lessen the load of stuff in my layers menu, and to have a cleaner simpler workflow than I had the last midterm. As my main preparation, there was a ton of masking. This is in regards to elements that you see on repeat, and some of the background images as well.
Perceived Loneliness
The story: As someone who has struggled with an abnormal amount of bad luck, illnesses, and events in life, I have become accustomed to people’s ignorance as to how they view a person subject to such repetitive negative patterns. I have become serious, critical, and cynical, with rights. The only thing I can compare living with my own history is someone who has experienced war. How do you convey your story to others who haven’t been? Here I portray the sensation of people’s preconceived opinions on my own loneliness. Ironically people who weren’t around when the times were the darkest, end up having the most preconceived notions… They see your loneliness as no fault but your own. They blame your darkness and think that they would have managed your challenges differently, better. You are negative, not critical. Hopeless, not hopeful.
The method: I started with an old painting from the Rijksmuseum. I analyzed the image and started with my bird and people removal. It was such a fun task, and so many tricks had to be used. Spot healing tool, copy-paste squares of wall and street. Smudging, and clone stamping. Then I added the balloon girl and the chain. I got the need for abstracts so I added different colored “sticks” to it. They were first arranged precisely and square with even distance in a checkered fashion. I didn’t like that so I went with a more disorganized look - I wanted them to look as deconstructed as people’s beliefs. Last I added a blob to cover her. This was inspired by an artist by the name of Leopoldo Strobl - Look him up! All of these elements, save the girl, have different blend modes to create different emotions, depths, and nuances.
Personal Loneliness
The story: This is my personal, dark loneliness. Nothing makes you feel more lonely than being in a place with many people that don’t see you… Like in a big city. With skyscrapers… My personal loneliness is very dark... That said, it doesn’t lack creativity. Even in my darkest moments, I am plotting something. Even if it’s my own decay… So you’re tethered to the darkness that can eat you alive. You try to connect through many different mediums, phones, computer, voice - A ghostly cell tower that in itself is frightening in both appearance and what it does - Yet you need it.
The method: The background image, an architectural drawing that looks like a helmet face, or star constellation - Hinting at my creativity even when submerged in the dark. Abstract sticks adding specks of color but adding to her burden as well - To be, in a falling motion, dragging her down…However, the balloons save. Elevate you up and away from the black hole with shark teeth, but the chain tethers so there’s that never ending traction. And once outside the darkness the balloons turn colored, and not ghostly gray and lusterless, which the blend mode on the girl underlines. As did the blend mode on the skyline - Emphasized like a ghost ship or town… An abstract, thick, running shape that I copied and debossed seeps out of the circle and from under the city, and a crack reveals another weak link in the structure…
Constructive Loneliness
The story: Loneliness isn’t always negative. For me, it can also be extremely constructive and creative. And when it is, we build the strength and the ideas on how to build not only ourselves and our lives, but also find ways and strength to help others.
The method: Again the architectural drawings came to play. I blended two together as I loved both and didn’t want to kill any of the darlings. I found an incredible image of a bridge being built, and later, after placing a masked out part of it in my document, I saw that there was a lonely, blue, male figure in the midst of it. Serendipity. So I started rebuilding my image after that man. The balloon girl with the strength to save him casts her gaze towards him to show you that he is there, that he exists, which I illustrated after an old “eye gaze”, “eye measure” drawing. Finally, I added one of my own abstract photos to blend together with the bridge image. I chose one of my pictures that has a brutalist concrete wall against a summer blue sky with clouds. They matched perfectly.
I hope you enjoy my midterm triptych!